IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that organizations would benefit more from young managers than from older ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Managing authorities are the backbone of any business or organization. Old managers are likely to serve commendably with the help of their
experience
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 whereas new managers can
also
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 be handy with up to date knowledge. Whether
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experience
Suggestion
the experience
 of
old
Suggestion
older
 managers
outweigh
Suggestion
outweighs
 the enthusiasm of young lads has sparked a heated debate.
This
Linking Words
 essay will endorse the given statement.
Firstly
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, young managers are usually current pass outs and holds the current knowledge of
market
Suggestion
the market
 which can be quite lucrative for any organisation.
Secondly
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, young managers are considerably more passionate as compare to old
manager
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 which helps any company to boost up their business by great time.
Secondly
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, since technology has overtaken almost everything, managing jobs are more reliable on electronic devices which are more friendly with
young
Suggestion
the young manager
a young manager
young managers
manager
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 than old one. To be specific, there were no computers in the past, so, old
manager
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 may not have that good command over the electronic devices as compare to the today's managers due to overwhelm use of
such
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 devices in today's educational system Others have conflicting views. They believe that,
Use synonyms
experience
Suggestion
the experience
 is most significant to be a perfect
Use synonyms
manager whereas
Accept comma addition
manager, whereas
 other electronic devices can be learnt in no time. According to them,
Use synonyms
experience undergo
Accept comma addition
experience, undergo
 ample ups and downs which gives them enough strength to handle any situation better than anyone In conclusion, updated skills are the order of the managing job which are carried by young managers through
there
of them or themselves
their
 complex and long educational syllabus.
Hence
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, young managers are highly recommended for managing jobs

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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