In some countries it is traditional for men to work and women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In many countries, men are breadwinners whilst women have to stay at home to take
car
of their families. Correct your spelling
care
This
situation has both benefits and drawbacks, in this
essay
I will look at both.
On the one hand, there are several advantages when women are stay-at-home Add a comma
essay,
mothers
. First,
children
greatly benefit from spending time
with their mothers
and this
makes a sense of motherhood between children
and their mothers
. For example
, my mother regularly took us to supermarket
when we were younger and told tales to us in the evenings. Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
This
made us feel happy and loved. Moreover
, women responsible for nurturing their children
means
less financial burdens in terms of hiring caregivers or sending Verb problem
have
children
to child-care centers
, Change the spelling
centres
thus
parents could use that money to buy what their children
need. What is more, mothers
who do not go to work will have more time
and energy to devote to looking after their children
, without having working -place stress.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of this
also
are clear to see. After a long period of taking care of families, mothers
are likely to be not keep
themselves updated with Change the verb form
not keep
lasted
knowledge. Replace the word
lasting
This
means that they may not be able to compete with young people who have more recent knowledge when mothers
want to find another job after motherhood. Furthermore
, due to
high
cost of living in some countries, it is better for both parents Correct article usage
the high
go
to work, Add the particle
to go
thus
it would be easier for them to buy things for their children
if there were two incomes. Being at home for a long time
and taking of children
also
never be an easy job when mothers
have to encounter Change preposition
apply
with
some Change preposition
apply
misbehaviors
of their sons or daughtersChange the spelling
misbehaviours
,
and Remove the comma
apply
Wrong verb form
trying
try
to solve them could be a difficult job. Wrong verb form
trying
For instance
, I was an aggressive boy when I was a child and sometimes, I injured my friends, this
made my mother miserable and there was a time
she
suffered from depression.
In conclusion, Rephrase
when she
although
parents and children
can benefit when mothers
do not go to work and stay at home to take care of their families, there might be more disadvantages for the family and mothers
in particular
when they have to shoulder such
a huge responsibility of raising their children
.Submitted by Andy on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. It is important to clearly state the advantages and disadvantages in the introduction to provide a roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of women staying at home to look after their families, but some points are not fully developed or elaborated upon. Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
