IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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A latest report from
New York times
Suggestion
the New York times
 has revealed that 63% surveyed people agree that enforcing longer
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences is the best method to cut
crime
Use synonyms
, meanwhile the remaining participants think there are enormous different ways which are better than that. I strongly agree with the
second
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 statement and the following paragraphs will take a look at both views and give sufficient reasons and examples. ​
First
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 and foremost, it is undeniable that giving longer
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences is extremely quintessential to decrease law-breakings. Offenders could have more time to reflect on their
wrong-doings
departure from what is ethically acceptable
wrongdoings
wrongdoing
 during the time in
prison
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,
as a
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result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
 will not re-offend after being released from
prison
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.
This
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 method,
moreover
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,
also
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 works in warning human from becoming criminals. ​Alternatively, for the purpose of reducing
crime
Use synonyms
, there are a large number of better ways, namely: organizing rehabilitation programs,
crime
Use synonyms
 prevention programs; providing education and vocational training; raising people’s awareness… The right attitude – the only thing could deter everyone from resorting to criminal practice.
For example
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, an article has posted that the number of
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
crimes
 in Paris decreases 50% in one year after a long time
this
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 city has applied several programs which is purposed to raise citizens’ awareness. ​To draw the conclusion, it is obvious that giving longer
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences is a great way to cut
crime
Use synonyms
,
besides
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, there are better effective methods
instead
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 of that,
such
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 as organizing
crime
Use synonyms
 prevent programs, rehabilitation programs, raising people’s awareness…
Submitted by Andy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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