Some people believe that violance on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society.other deny that these factors have any significant influence on peoples' behaviour.What is your opinion.

#people #violance #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #peoples #behaviour

Most of the

society

have

Suggestion

has

a belief that

violance

an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)

violence

television

shows and in

computer

games bring ruinous affect to the

society

.Some neglect these aspects are not being reasons for the peoples' deportment.As my opinion

Accept space

I believe that violation on

television

and in

computer

games could be badly

effected

acted upon; influenced

affected

for humans' life style. On one hand

Accept space

discussing regarding

brutality

on the

television

and

computer

games are not

crutial

of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis

crucial

to the

individuals

Suggestion

individual's

individual

life until people copy them.

For

instance shooting

Accept comma addition

instance, shooting

Accept space

killing people

Accept space

drug

smuglers

someone who imports or exports without paying duties

smugglers

smuggler

can be seen in video games.But as a human being we should

tactfull

having or showing a sense of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others

tactful

tasteful

to make sense that they are not

pratical

concerned with actual use or practice

practical

On the other hand

Accept space

many

bilieve

accept as true; take to be true

believe

believed

believes

that

brutality

television

is the greatest influence for repeat them in the

society

Furthermore

Accept space

some people who are used to

watch

Suggestion

watching

teledramas

and movies as their routine habit.It will automatically become them to the movie

lifestyle

Accept comma addition

lifestyle, such

such

as harming family members

Accept space

stealing money

Accept space

instantly make angry themselves.In

additionally

Accept space

brutality

on video games

also

an influence to the

society

as same as

television

.It could be ruined kids' mind easier than the

television

because

Suggestion

Because

they have been made especially for kids to get their attraction.Kids will absolutely try to follow what

thay

people in general

they

can see within video games. In conclusion

Accept space

though some

bilieve

accept as true; take to be true

believe

that the

brutality

television

and in the

computer

games don't affect to the

society

.I believe that they can make

humongous threat

Suggestion

the humongous threat

humongous threats

a humongous threat

in the community.

However

Accept space

this

can be a disaster to the present growing youth and future generation.

Submitted by gayan1990227 on Sun Aug 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that violance on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society.other deny that these factors have any significant influence on peoples' behaviour.What is your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. in your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive/negative development?