IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
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Nowsadays
Suggestion
Nowadays
, international
torism
the business of providing services to tourists
tourism
terrorism
 in individual and
torism
the business of providing services to tourists
tourism
 as a whole has boomed as global trends.
This
Linking Words
 is a
debates
Suggestion
debate
 that
this
Linking Words
 industry brings more conflicts between nations rather than facilitates understanding. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint at some extent,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss about both bright sights and drawbacks In terms of drawbacks, the improper attitude and poor
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 can be
reson
a rational motive for a belief or action
reason
 of conflicts between visitors and locals. There are some people who travel with negative attitudes. They are not
to open
Suggestion
open
 to
new culture
Suggestion
new cultures
a new culture
 and do not want to adapt
with
Suggestion
to
spcieal
unique or specific to a person or thing or category
special
 circumstances.
For instance
Linking Words
, a group Korean
visitors
Suggestion
visitor
visitted
go to see a place, as for entertainment
visited
 to Da Nang in sensitive times when the germ of corona
pademic
epidemic over a wide geographical area
pandemic
apeared
give a certain impression or have a certain outward aspect
appeared
. They are determined not to isolate under the direction of healthy ministry and say negative feedbacks about quality service in Viet Nam on media.
This
Linking Words
 makes
netizens
Suggestion
 stir up waves which lead to a little tension between Viet Nam and Korea.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The lack of knowledge about a new custom of foreigner
also
Linking Words
 can create serious conflicts. To illustrate, Some western
vistors
someone who visits
visitors
visitted
go to see a place, as for entertainment
visited
 to pagodas or tempers in Viet Nam with unsuitable outfits,
as a result
Linking Words
 they were prevented to enter. The indeliberate misunderstanding arise
argument
Suggestion
an argument
 between tourist and security.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, international tourism
obiviously
unmistakably ('plain' is often used informally for 'plainly')
obviously
 brings opportunity to facilitate understanding between people from different cultures. While social media
ond
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 newspaper give people some foreign
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 information, travelling aboard gives tourist authentic experiences about unique customs. Tourists
will explained
Suggestion
will explain
 about
core values
Suggestion
the core values
 of that customs by local residents which
leat
take somebody somewhere
lead
 to more profound understanding.
In addition
Linking Words
, after
experiecing
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experiencing
traditional culture
Suggestion
the traditional culture
 of
visited country
Suggestion
the visited country
visited countries
, a lot of
traveller
Suggestion
travellers
 have desire to be a part of
country
Suggestion
the country
. They decided to settle and willing to embrace cultural differences. In conclusion, international tourism allows overseas visitors to experience different cultures and
therefore
Linking Words
 connects everyone through mutual understanding. In my opinion, we should not merely judge the industry based on a number of situations where conflicts arise from
misconduct
Suggestion
the misconduct
 of only a group of individuals.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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