Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behaviour). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A controversial issue relates to whether students should be recognized for their scholastic achievements or for their merits in extracurricular activities.
This
essay explores both points of view and explains why I lean towards thinking that fulfilment in sports, music and art is of bigger value when it comes to reward. Some people think that outstanding academic accomplishments have to be applauded because every student’s primary goal is to get educated and cumulate knowledge, which will be transferred into their future careers. Motivating pupils in pursuing high results in
studies benefits
Accept comma addition
studies, benefits
them in adulthood, as they are better prepared and trained to be more competitive within the labour market in their area of expertise.
Furthermore
, it
also
helps receiving a better-paid job offer from employers if a student demonstrates abilities to learn fast and effectively by presenting the awards, diplomas and certificates of achievement during interviews.
However
, others tend to think that success in athletics, art and other extracurricular activities are to be honoured more when compared to attainments in education.
This
belief is supported by an idea that it is essential to encourage students to balance their lives by widening the interests and spreading the focus on a variety of life aspects.
As a result
– students become stress-resilient and live lives that are more interesting, by avoiding the pressure to score the highest in the class or to be on the honour roll, which is certainly stressful. Another good reason to support students, passionate about their hobbies is that there are plenty of examples of people succeeding in
life having
Accept comma addition
life, having
no educational achievements, while being enthusiastic about their interests and aptitudes,
such
as the Silicon Valley billionaires, famous Hollywood celebrities, and professional sports athletes. In conclusion, it is a fact that stimulation of educational excellence benefits graduates in future career.
However
, people should understand that there are
much
Suggestion
many
more components to happiness and a content life,
such
as development of one’s strong suit, which are encouraged by recognition and
acclamation
Suggestion
acclaim
.
Submitted by issagali90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: