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Writing Samples
Band 7

A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN, THEIR FAMILIES AND SOCIETY? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

#report #children #time #television #video #games #families #society #measures #control
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In
last decades
Suggestion
the last decades
, most children are spending their
time
 playing video games or watching tv, particularly age between seven to eleven. The detrimental effects of it, and proactive steps to curb the situation are elucidated in the upcoming texts. The major impact of unfettered view of an idiot box for children is on health. As they sit for a longer
time
 to play a game, they become lethargic, and may have problem like obesity and visual impairment. If they will not perform any physical work; their bone density will be reduced, and they may suffer several bones related diseases,
such
 as osteoporosis and osteoarthritis.
Moreover
, their behaviour towards their family members and society has been changed by watching TV box for longer duration. Because of their introvert attitude, they might be socially isolated, which may cause several social issues in their future life.
However
, there are subtle medicaments to retard the situation become more worsen, and foremost aid is preparing a schedule of their activities. In
this
, they should not only allot a
time
 to watch a television or a video game, but spare tantamount
time
 for physical activities as well.
Secondly
, parents can vigilance their child that they follow the pattern or not. If they will not abide by the timetable, they should be penalized in their upcoming hours of their favourite activities.
Thirdly
, whenever any social gathering happen, their guardians bring them and introduce them with their relatives.
Additionally
, social orders
also
 organise special events for children, so children like to visit
such
 gathering and socialize them. Agglomerating above all the points, it can be said that, there are numerous major problem due to the exaggerated use of television in children’s lives like visual deficiency, alteration in behaviour, and introvert attitude; But it can be rectified by taking several measurable steps
such
 as preparing strict regimen, meet other people, and supervision of their parents.
Submitted by Riken Patel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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