Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

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It is true that these days recruiters often believe that formal academic

qualifications

Use synonyms

are more worthwhile than

hand-on

Correct your spelling

hands-on

show examples

experiences or personal qualities when they recruit for new human resources.

While

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there are several reasons for

this

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case, I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

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that

this

Linking Words

trend is a negative development. On the one hand, I would argue that

this

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trend is contributed by a number of reasons. First and foremost, academic

qualifications

Use synonyms

are often reliable proof of one's ability.

As a result

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, employers often choose a labour force based on their academic knowledge, which could help them save a great amount of time,

while

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personal qualities can be only demonstrated if the candidate attends an interview or works as a trainee. Another reason is some jobs

such

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as researchers and professors require a high level of academic knowledge which is often reflected by

qualifications

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, I claimed that

this

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is a negative development.

Firstly

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, the

qualifications

Use synonyms

given by some universities are unreliable. Gia Dinh University in Viet Nam,

for instance

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, always advert their qualification is quite believed by many corporations,

while

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some researches show students of

this

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college are underestimated most by companies. Another disadvantage is some recruiters may overlook applications of potential personnel who may not have decent certificates. If they could employ those, their companies would witness considerable growth over a period of time. In conclusion, even though there are some causes for

this

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phenomenon, it seems to me that the drawbacks are more substantial and the manager of

human

Correct article usage

the human

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resources department has to consider when they employ new personnel.

datkhoa121Tue Sep 01 2020

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Task Achievement

Your introduction presents the topic well but could include a clearer thesis statement indicating your stance and the reasons for it. Consider revising it to explicitly mention both points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to clearly signal the division between your ideas using cohesive devices. Phrases like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help, but ensure they are used effectively to guide the reader.

Task Achievement

Be more explicit in discussing the relevance of your examples. For instance, further explain why Gia Dinh University's qualifications might be perceived as unreliable, to strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

You presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential in IELTS essays. Your stance on the negative development is consistent throughout your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is structured into distinct paragraphs which aids the reader’s understanding of your arguments.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

standardized measure
specialized expertise
dedication
long-term goal
higher education
practical skills
adaptability
problem-solving abilities
communication skills
teamwork
leadership
homogeneous
diverse perspectives
negative development
inequality
valuable skills
insights
balanced approach
proficiency
safety standards
candidate's profile

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Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Shouldn't everyone change their behaviour to help protect the environment?

Now a days, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.