IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your opiniom

#people #job #money #salary #life #opiniom
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It is a debatable issue
Verify preposition usage
of
 whether having a pleasant job is imperative in spite of earning huge sums of
money
Use synonyms
 or leading a greater lifestyle by getting a decent income. I,
however
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, opine the former view. To commence with, the masses who are with the
first
Linking Words
 notion assert that it is far more satisfactory to get a
work
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 which an individual loves to do rather than getting a high salary because a person who does an enjoyable
work
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 leads a stress-free
life
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 and remains away from certain types of mental illnesses.
Furthermore
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, by not getting depressed due to office
work
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,
Remove a space
apply
 people may maintain a good relationship with their loved ones and spend quality time with their families.
Therefore
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, opting a
pleasureable
Correct your spelling
pleasurable
 job makes people satisfied as they do not live a busy
life
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amd
Correct your spelling
and
 remain healthy throughout
the
Change the word
their
 lifetime.
However
Linking Words
, others condemn
this
Linking Words
 notion by claiming that a proficient career is essential for a better living. The prime reason is that everyone in
this
Linking Words
 materialistic world admires to get a luxurious
life
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. In order to complete their dreams, they earn a lot of
money
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 by indulging in high paid jobs.
Moreover
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, a decent salary is
a
Change the article
the
main requirement to live in cosmopolitan cities owing to the high costs of living. Apart from
this
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, inflation is
also
Linking Words
 a reason due to which an individual needs
Add an article
a
huge amount of
money
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 for living in the future.
For instance
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, a person who wants to live in NewYork must be capable to afford a living in that city due to inflation rates. In conclusion,
although
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 a good job is essential to
live
Change the verb form
living
 a better
life
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,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
I believe that health and family are much more important than
money
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 and a person must do a
work
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 which suits him the best.
Submitted by Arash on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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