Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?

#decades #media #image #women

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We are living in a smart era, where all people want to look smart and young. Since

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the

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ast few decades, television has overrated the personality of zero figure

trend

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in women. Due to

this

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, those females who are overweight are getting depression, as they thought they did not look beautiful.

This

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could be diminished by imposing restriction on the way media is promoting

such

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senseless

trend

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. People are following different celebrities and want to look like them, especially women always concern about their weight and look. In

this

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event,

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apply

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v channel

play

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plays

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a vital role to promote

such

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Use synonyms

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rend. Due to

this

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trend

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Add a comma

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people spend huge money to look like young.

For instance

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, A T.V actor Sushant spent five million on their facial surgery to make their face look pleasant. Apart from

this

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, people getting a lot of cosmetics which creat harm in

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the

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ong run.

Such

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cosmetics are

chemical

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chemically

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added and creat and allergic reaction on the person body. As

this

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was only tested on an animal.

Additionally

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, people following a strict diet without knowing what their body requires.

Consequently

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, they feel weakness in their daily routine activity and maybe lost their immune system

However

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, there are some various solutions to

this

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problem is,

First

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and foremost, the

overnment

Correct your spelling

government

should ban

such

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harmful cosmetics products which create an adverse impact on human.

Although

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this

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would be benefited to their economy.

Secondly

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Add an article

the

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ocal authority should make a restriction on

such

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television program who broadcast

such

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worthless brand and their promotion.

Last

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but not least,

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the

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dministration should campaign to spread awareness about the product

that

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apply

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made from chemical and guide them in a certain manner. To conclude

this

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, today media craet a

trend

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that thin women

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are

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a role model for all, which boost to use of several harmful cosmetics,

as a result

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Add a space

apply

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eople look good through senseless ways

such

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as following inappropriate diet and expensive product.

This

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crate more threat to people and they lost large sums of money.

Submitted by asifrathod662 on Wed Sep 02 2020

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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