IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behaviour). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #schools #rewards #students #results #it’s #reward #success #sports #music #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think students who have
h
Add an article
a
show examples
igh score in
a
Add an article
the
show examples
cademic result should get rewards, but other people think that
reward
Use synonyms
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
students who achieve other types of success is more important. Even both have pros and cons, my opinion it is more important
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
reward
Use synonyms
 students who are good in non-academic types.
Most
Add an article
The most
show examples
 important thing is
Use synonyms
s
Add an article
a
the
show examples
tudy to students because the meaning of a student is a person who doing
Use synonyms
s
Add an article
the
a
show examples
tudy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should
rewards
Change the verb form
reward
show examples
 students who have
h
Add an article
a
show examples
igh score in academic results.
Also
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
they could learn commonsense and a lot of knowledge from
a
Add an article
an
show examples
cademic
Use synonyms
study
Change the noun form
studies
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as math, science and history and they need
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
them for increasing their value. Unless schools
reward
Use synonyms
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
students about
a
Add an article
the
show examples
cademic result, many students might not be care about learning basic things. But
also
Linking Words
 schools need to rewards students who achieve other types of success not only about academic
study
Use synonyms
. Many students who do not have
i
Add an article
an
show examples
nterest in
Use synonyms
s
Add an article
the
show examples
tudy could be feeling unfair or
dissappointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 providing that school rewards about only academic. I think schools have to support all of
s
Add an article
the
show examples
tudents, and they have different personality, interest and talent. Like everyone has different dreams and goals. If schools give the chance of
reward
Use synonyms
 to all of
s
Add an article
the
show examples
tudents, they will be feeling better and think school support them. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
, students who achieve other types of success have more chance and opportunity rather than other students. They could learn and get a lot of things from non-academic subjects.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
sports make them healthy and need teamwork, so naturally
Add a comma
,
show examples
they make
friendship
Replace the word
friends
show examples
 with their friends. That can not learn from academic subjects. On conditional that they have
variety
Replace the word
varied
show examples
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
experience from
n
Add an article
the
a
show examples
on-academic subject, the experience will be helpful to the students and that will
be bring
Change the verb form
be bringing
show examples
 some good opportunity them in the future. In conclusion, schools have to
reward
Use synonyms
 students who have
g
Add an article
a
show examples
ood condition in anything, like sports, music, and good behaviour not only
study
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bjsean on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: