Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, technology has become the most important aspect of our life.Students have many alternative ways of playing the internet.We should provide the way for a student to spend less time on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entertainment.
However
Linking Words
, we should support them for doing outside activity.Personally,I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement. Begin with, the major advantage of going outdoor activity
instead
Linking Words
of using
c
Add an article
the
a
show examples
omputer is it can encourage peer to make
f
Add an article
a
show examples
riend to others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, junior will go out
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
their comfort zone and see the whole picture for staying with others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
c
Add an article
a
show examples
hild has an event with others, they will ignore their computer.
This
Linking Words
cause student will notice that there are many subjects to do on their routine.
For example
Linking Words
, I used to be a person who is
netholic
Correct your spelling
catholic
, my mom sent me to a camp.After that,I had a chance of spending time with others.
Then
Linking Words
I knew that there are a lot of activities not only sport but
also
Linking Words
talking.
Then
Linking Words
we share our experience and point of view.So now I seldom keep myself on the online.
In addition
Linking Words
, outdoor activity will provide vitamins that gain a huge benefit to your health.While using technology will low down your body
such
Linking Words
as short eys.Some students playing
s
Add an article
the
a
show examples
port for fitting themself.
For instance
Linking Words
, my sister always play tennis, she has an antibody for keeping herself healthy.
Therefore
Linking Words
she never gets overweight and has a good shape. In conclusion, the student should use a less electronic device to ensure their health.They should spend time doing outside event.
This
Linking Words
will help a child to have a community and become healthy.
Submitted by tweetyjahjahjah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: