IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Nowadays, a huge number of people choose to buy things they need on the internet, and
this
 statement will probably cause the closure of many local shops in a near future. Me, being a part of
this
 family, do not believe that
this
 will happen, because if it became true, friends would have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 things to do together.
Also
, many people prefer trying clothes they like before they buy them. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I the reason why I do not think that shops will be closed because of the spread of online shopping. The younger generation, especially girls, find shopping as a must-do activity when they go out with their friends. Through walking and trying new clothes, they can
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 about the day.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
show examples
 research has revealed that more than 70% of girls can keep walking for three hours just doing shopping, while just over 50% can do it for half an hour by just window shopping. Another reason of why I do not
subtain
Correct your spelling
sustain
obtain
 the
ipotesi
Correct your spelling
protest
 of the closure of local shops is because most people are concerned about the fabric, the colour and so and how it would be on them, in the case of clothes. My mom is an example. In fact, she has never bought a skirt, shirt, t-shirt or whatever on the internet, because she
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to see in person how an indument is made. In conclusion, shops in urban areas and towns will never be closed due to the innovation of web shopping, because people still need them in their spare time with friends and it is the only accepted way of buying new clothes by some people, especially the older ones.
Submitted by faveramenteriderelz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: