Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Competition has always been present in human lives. Some people argue that the competitive
behavior
of Change the spelling
behaviour
male
gender is more natural than the other one. I partly agree with the statement and Correct article usage
the male
this
essay will elaborate more.
First of all, I believe that history can show that Linking Words
men
were those who carried the aptitude or even veiled responsibility Use synonyms
to
competitiveness. Change preposition
for
Whereas
women’s tasks were taking care of children and being housewives, Linking Words
men
had to provide food and safety for their families. Use synonyms
As a result
, they normally Linking Words
have
to compete among themselves for land or Wrong verb form
had
honor
, or just to demonstrate which man Change the spelling
honour
were
the strongest to be the leader or the chief. Change the verb form
was
Furthermore
, Linking Words
until
these days, even in Change preposition
apply
workplace
, it is common to see Add an article
the workplace
men
competing to prove who is more capable or has the biggest salary.
Use synonyms
However
, as far as I am concerned, Linking Words
this
can be explained by women’s lack of opportunities. In the Linking Words
past
they were not allowed to participate in Add a comma
past,
such
ambitious events and dispute positions just because of their sex. Differently, nowadays every sport that allows males to show their grandiosityLinking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
also
has space for the other gender and sometimes, the Linking Words
last
ones have uppermost results. Linking Words
For instance
, Marta, a Brazilian soccer player, Linking Words
have
won more “Ballon Change the verb form
has
D’or
” than any other man alive. Correct your spelling
d’Or
Hence
, I Linking Words
also
agree that in an Linking Words
equally
system, females can prove their worth and determination.
Change the adverb
equal
To conclude
, Linking Words
although
I agree that historically it is possible to relate a great sense and disposition to competitiveness to Linking Words
men
, I can not ignore the fact that women are proving in numbers and attitude that they can be equally or even more competitive than the opposite sex.Use synonyms
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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on the topic. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your opinion on the issue to provide a stronger task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and the paragraphs are well-connected. Work on refining your introduction and conclusion to create a more impactful overall structure.