IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The computer is used for numerous purposes.It is thought by some people that computer games are not really beneficial for children,while others believe that these have various features and merits as well demerits of these playing computer games will be elaborated in the aforementioned paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
First
Linking Words
 con of these games is that it sharpens the mind of children because it involves them in some activities.
For instance
Linking Words
,a survey was conducted in all the developed and developing countries and it had concluded that the ratio of seventy per cent
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
children was considered more intelligent than those who were not playing games online.Another merit of it is that it keeps the children busy,and save them from the indulgence of bad activities
such
Linking Words
 as drug addiction,pornography,stealing and snatching.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several loopholes of playing games.It has an adverse effect on the eyesight of children because children play games day and night.It
also
Linking Words
 creates the problem of obesity because children do not move from one place to another when they play games.To illustrate, Robert Thomas did a survey in 2018 and its conclusion was that those children who play video games are the facing the problem of obesity as compared to those who children who actively participate in sports and games. To recapitulate, I would like to write that playing games have advantages as well as disadvantages ,so children should be allowed to play games,but for
l
Add an article
a
show examples
imited time period.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: