IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #business #company #organization
There are a group of people who tend to create their own workplaces and find some workers to accompany
with
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
them.
This
 idea depends on the situation which people are facing. I am going to explain some advantages and disadvantages
for
Verify preposition usage
to
of
show examples
 that.
First
 off, when people decide the change their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
, for almost everything, they need to have some financial sources to start something, like moving another country or being a boss of their own company.
Also
,they have to get trusty friends who are able to help for any necessary situation in the way of starting a new business.
On the other hand
, the feeling about having a special job which the owner of that rule the workplace
however
 they want.
Furthermore
, working in a company over many years does not change their work profile and experiences as they want. But, having a company or any workplace widens the view of people and gives an
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to improve themself when they eager to become more experienced. To conclude, the benefits to create a better profile and open a new life for people might be quite better than its drawbacks of it when they explore the appropriate way to obtain that.
Submitted by srvtkml89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: