IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with little job satisfaction, their life loses meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #time #job #satisfaction #life
Some people believe that the purpose of
life
 fades away when workforces burn the wick both at the end without
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 while others think the meaning of their
life
 depends on their outlook on
life
 including a lot of aspects whether the drained
work
 or not. From my perspective, I agree partly with the
first
 statement and I will show more information in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, it is true that two-thirds of an adult's time is
work
 and
this
 plays a great role in our well-being
life
 and a sense of fulfilling
life
 as by earning money through putting in time for jobs, we could meet almost basic needs. If they
work
 at a daunting and unaspiring job or do the same
work day
Correct your spelling
workday
show examples
 in, day out is a tedious and laborious task, they, of course, will have not enough energy for other activities. For the long-term,
this
 has led to drained emotion which makes them frustrated and emptied all day.
Nevertheless
, everyone has a different outlook on
life
. For some people, occupation is the most important thing in their
life
 because they would like to be productive citizens who contribute to the community and have dignity and self-worth.
In contrast
, others think that earning money is a tool to make their
life
 contented with families and friends. For
this
 reason, the purpose of their
life
 still exists even if they are in tiresome jobs or sweat over projects. To illustrate, parents have a sense of satisfaction when seeing their baby's smiles or their growth
instead
 of exhaustion due to a stagnant job. They still,
hence
, enjoy every moment with families and friends, whether the occupation is fulfilling or not. In conclusion, I agree that
work
 is very important for our sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 in our lives.
However
, it is not one only factor because a person's state of mind contributes to it as well.
Submitted by claireng.au on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: