IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is argued that
,
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apply
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job
 satisfaction is important than a hefty salary.
This
 essay totally disagrees with that statement. According to me, high salaried positions are directly affecting people's stress adversely and steers towards various
health
 issues
such
 as anxiety. Whereas, employment happiness stays above the money earned People on higher
job
 positions are having finite time to perform their duties and achieve their goals which lead them towards serious
health
 issues. Most of the high paid employee's responsibilities are making them stressed heavily and they get body disorders like blood pressure disorder. My uncle Raj boasted about the high salary, whereas he was having a satisfactory
job
. With the high profile
job
, he was not able to cater
Verify preposition usage
to
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its needs and with uncomfortable experiences, he quit the
job
 and returned to the previous one
Job
 satisfaction helps to have a relaxed and peaceful mind, along with better physical and mental
health
. In a relaxed environment, anyone can contribute well and improve overall productivity. It allows employees to spend quality time in leisure, with family and friends. Having
l
Add an article
a
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imited amount of personal time at work allows any individual to have a better work-life balance. Any location that gives better work-life balance can yield valuable outcome professionally and eventually to
o
Add an article
the
an
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rganization. To conclude, high paid workers are suffering
with
Change the preposition
from
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 hypertension
health
 problems, and one of the reasons is having a highly result oriented stressful jobs.
On the other hand
, people with a
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
job
 are having a better work-life balance. In my opinion, I prefer to have a less paid, low stress and highly satisfiable
job
.
Submitted by dereksidh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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