Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

It is always a debatable topic whether parents should motivate their kids to participate in

group

activities in their leisure time or if children should engage themselves in their own way.

This

essay will discuss both the views with relevant ideas and examples along with my opinion

Verify preposition usage

show examples

the end.

Firstly

, getting involved in planned

group

campaigns help children to make new friends. By interacting with people of different mindsets and ideology, they will learn new skills which eventually boost their confidence.

Secondly

, these type of activities instils a sense of healthy competition among children. A recent article published in "The Times of India" showed that adolescents who

participates

Change the verb form

participate

show examples

group

activities regularly develop social and analytical skills faster than the others who do not take part in

such

collaborated activities.

On the other hand

, it is believed by some that children should learn to engage themselves in their own way.

This

will not only give the freedom of thought but

also

give them the ability to grasp new skills as per their interest.

However

, with the advancement of technology, youth of

this

generation are glued to the screens of their smartphones playing games for long hours along with socializing themselves on the internet.

This

can sometimes have a negative impact on their minds which can result in taking

Change the article

the

show examples

rong path. In conclusion,

although

children feel a sense of freedom to do activities on their own, I personally think that organised

group

activities are a beneficial way for children to inculcate social and psychological skills required in life.

Submitted by jazztuteja09 on Sun Oct 04 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Fully explain your ideas

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