IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

#demand #energy #sources #oil #gas #people #places #areas
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Over time our societies need
e
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the
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nergy to thrive. Due to humans have been extracting
energy
 from non-
renovable
Correct your spelling
renewable
removable
 resources, many ecosystems are already damaged in all over the world.
As a result
, while some people argue that extracting
oil
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 gas in isolated and unknown places is not a
satifactory
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
 decision, others point out that the disadvantages do not undermine the advantages.
This
 essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the reasons behind that disadvantages outperform disadvantages from an economic and sustainable environment perspective. Leverage on existing technology has
b
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a
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igger short-
term
 benefit rather than create new technology to extract
energy
 resources. Efforts to reduce solar and wind
energy
 generation have increased in the
last
 two decades,
nevertheless
,
energy
 sources
such
 as
oil
 and gas are still the cheapest option for the short
term
.
For instance
, several companies are extracting
oil
 close to Alaska, if they want to go unexplored regions in the north to explore new
oil
 resources, they would need
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to
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invest less money compared if they would decide
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to
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install solar panels or wind turbines
,
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apply
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 because they have all the infrastructure and the technology to produce
oil
.
However
, new government regulations could increment
this
 cost because climate
chage
Correct your spelling
change
 already cause
many
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much
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damage
Change to a plural noun
damages
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in
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to
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 our ecosystem by producing many economical problems in several communities around the globe.
As a result
, If companies decide to continue
Add the particle
to
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exploit natural fossil fuels, the long
term
 cost is going to be larger than the short
term
 benefit. Natural places are a scarce resource. Ecosystems are already severely damaged
in
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apply
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all over the planet. Animals and plants are struggling to keep alive from many changes
on
Verify preposition usage
in
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 the ecosystems.
For instance
,
oil
 production in remote places
such
 as Alaska and
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
 have killed thousands of penguins. They are extremely relevant to the polar environments, they help to keep alive many creatures underwater and if larger populations disappear, many
other
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others
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 could suffer the impact. If companies decide to go again to extract
oil
 on isolated places animals and plants will suffer. Summing up, disadvantages of extract
oil
 and gas on remote places are larger than the advantages,
thus
 it is clear that decisions need to be addressed in
term
 of the economical and environmental impacts of
such
 decisions.
Submitted by roberto.espinozav on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • unspoiled
  • hydrocarbon exploration
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • ecosystem conservation
  • indigenous rights
  • climate resilience
  • habitat destruction
  • infrastructure development
  • technological advancements
  • economic stimulus
  • social unrest
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
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