IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is argued that earning big wages can be more significant than job
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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.
This
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 essay disagrees with that statement. I believe in
this
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 day and age of uncertainty that people are increasingly worried about big income jobs affecting their
health
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, and having a less work-life balance. Employees earning a large amount of income perform under huge mental and intellectual stress to achieve targets.
This
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 causes many individuals to suffer a high level of stress which may cause mental and physical
health
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 issues.
This
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 happened to my mother. She used to be a dean of the faculty at the local university. My mother used to work at the cost of family, friends, and most importantly- her
health
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. After years of working compulsively, she was unable to detach herself from work, which inevitably reflected on her mental
health
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 forever. A good life-work balance has been an emerging trend all around the globe. People quit their high-risk, extremely well-paid. deadline-oriented jobs, so they can get a greater sense of well-being. Planning your schedule, unplugging from the world from time to time to enjoy being alone, prioritizing social life can be a healthy decision to make. Prioritizing mental
health
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 can pay off in the long run. In conclusion, for a high amount of works earning less amount of money, but enjoying both because of the negative effects on work-related stress and the desire to be happy and balanced.
Submitted by assiyaz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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