IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #“do #activities #student’s #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is imperative for students to do regular exercise
besides
 studies in order to create balance in life. I completely
favours
Change the verb form
favour
show examples
 the phenomenon of introducing extra-curricular activities in a children life keeping their physical and mental growth in mind. In order to have flourishing academic career mental health plays an important role. Extra-Curricular activities like exercise, music, dance and many more acts as a stress
busters
Correct the article-noun agreement
buster
show examples
 for children. In today's time due to busy study schedule kids hardly get time to concentrate on their fitness.
Hence
, by involving these activities in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
ducation curriculum and making it mandatory to follow, student's physical and mental fitness can be ensured. Another fact is, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 in raising IQ level in students, making them mentally fit for various upcoming competitions. To exemplify, for
a competitions
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitions
a competition
show examples
 like
s
Add an article
a
show examples
pelling bee or science and technology, sharp memory is required and daily workouts and proper diet helps in facing
such
 faceoffs.
Furthermore
, technology innovations have badly
impact
Change the verb form
impacted
show examples
 students lifestyle.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of doing physical exercises kids prefer to play online video games on mobile phones. Their social interaction has minimised to
g
Add an article
a
show examples
reater extent. And it has created several health issues among youngsters like obesity, weakened
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
. In order to bring back the enthusiasm and courage and eradicate the negative impact of technology on children
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is highly recommended for parents and teachers to involve
m
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ajority of children in extra activities teaching them to prioritise their health over gadgets. To reiterate, physical and mental fitness is important for every individual especially youngsters. Our education system needs to come up with strategies to involve students in
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities and
also
 create awareness among children regarding how important it is for them to have a healthy way of life.
Submitted by Shilpa Suri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: