IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past people used to live their entire life in one place. Nowadays they live in several different places during their life. What are the reasons for this change? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

As opposed to
people
Use synonyms
 in the past, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to have a nomadic lifestyle, wherein
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they want to move around different
places
Use synonyms
, rather than spending their entire
life
Use synonyms
 in their
home-town
Use the right word
hometown
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 could be either
in
Change preposition
within
show examples
 their national boundaries or even overseas. There could be a number of reasons for
this
Linking Words
, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will mention some of the most common underlying causes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 changing trend, which could be attributed to either work or leisure. I see
this
Linking Words
 as a positive trend, as with experiencing different
places
Use synonyms
 in one's lifetime,
people
Use synonyms
 broaden their arena, and have the choice to adapt to the culture,
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
 and the
place
Use synonyms
, which
befits
Verb problem
best suits
show examples
 them the most. With the advent of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
, availability of modern technologies and means of transport and communication, we now live in a global village, where travelling from one part of the world to another
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is quite fast, convenient and seamless. Organizations and Multi-national companies have offices around the globe and workforce are supposed to travel for work frequently, and sometimes, even for longer periods,
due to
Linking Words
 which they get to
experience
Use synonyms
 cross-national cultures, trends and comfortability of lives, and in
this
Linking Words
 process, they choose to permanently settle and immigrate to another country, which makes them feel home, better than their own home-town,
due to
Linking Words
 abundance of modern-day facilities and friendly culture, they
experience
Use synonyms
 there, which they always have been longing for. It was not the scenario a few decades back
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of transportation and hardly any need for relocation.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 human cravings for experiencing new cultures, new environments and even new neighbourhoods, and to get away from the boredom of staying at a single
place
Use synonyms
 lifelong, where it may get monotonous, it is a good idea to switch on to another
place
Use synonyms
, which makes
life
Use synonyms
 more exciting and brings the thrill of discovering the new
place
Use synonyms
, all from the scratch. Some
people
Use synonyms
 would want to move from one city to another city in their own country and
experience
Use synonyms
 the varying climates, festivals and local languages
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes their
life
Use synonyms
 quite interesting.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my country
Punctuation problem
, its
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 quite common for
people
Use synonyms
 to travel from
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the summers
show examples
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to the northern part of India
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and spend almost half a year
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 annually, as it is very hot and humid in
Correct article usage
the summers
show examples
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in the South,
while
Linking Words
 it is still cold and breezy in the North. To summarise, there are no negatives in
people
Use synonyms
 willing to travel to multiple
places
Use synonyms
 for work or leisure or for any other reasons, as
this
Linking Words
 brings spontaneity to their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 different
places
Use synonyms
, different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and find it very exciting.
This
Linking Words
 is a very positive trend and is
due to
Linking Words
 continue or even grow exponentially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your work. Start with a short view of what you say. Then add how and why.
structure
Make a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep one main idea each paragraph.
grammar
Use short, calm sentences. This helps the reader see the main point.
grammar
Check your grammar. Use common tense and end ideas in a full way.
analysis
Give a balanced view. Say both good and bad, and finish with your own view.
content
Your idea of moving to many places is clear, and you give some reasons.
structure
You use some linking words to show order and flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job mobility
  • career opportunities
  • relocate
  • advancements in transportation
  • diverse experiences
  • lifestyle changes
  • education pursuits
  • academic pursuits
  • economic factors
  • cost of living
  • housing affordability
  • migration decisions
  • personal relationships
  • family responsibilities
  • retirement
  • quality of life
  • desirable locations
  • globalization
  • social networks
  • remote work
What to do next:
Look at other essays: