In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

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Motherhood is a new phase of

Remove the article

apply

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life. There are many nations

offer

Correct pronoun usage

that offer

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maternity benefits including one-month paid leave immediately after the delivery of a baby. In my opinion,

this

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facility has more positives than any negative it could bring.

To begin

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with, when a woman is allowed to spend time with her

child

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after the delivery, brings many benefits to the newly-

born-

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born child

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child

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This

Linking Words

is because

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child

Add an article

the child

a child

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can be breastfed,

this

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is essential since the feed is rich

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nutrients and

vitamines

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vitamins

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for

the

Correct article usage

apply

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growth and development.

For example

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, there are many studies

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

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the significance of

this

Linking Words

and the WHO has instructed every nation to make a policy that

ensure

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ensures

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compulsory feeding

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for at

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least the

first-6

Correct your spelling

first

month

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months

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of life. By doing

this

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, not only enhance

the

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apply

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physical growth but emotional bonding is

also

Linking Words

initiated. Admittedly there are some negatives of taking a long leave

due to

Linking Words

the

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child birth

Correct your spelling

childbirth

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. one possible challenge is

that

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the

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lack of continuity of work.

In other words

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, when a woman

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completely away from

the

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her

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job responsibilities, would have some consequences

such

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as-

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poor efficiency, commitment and performance as well.

However

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this

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happens rarely since most of the employers offer extra- training to

brush-up

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brush up

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their skills before

re-enter

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re-entering

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apply

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the work.

For instance

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, providing

one day

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one-day

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of inservice

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inservice

Correct your spelling

in-service

education or attending workshops would enable them to quickly adapt

the

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to the

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working environment back. In conclusion, offering paid maternity leave is a common scenario in many countries. I personally consider

this

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has

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to have

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many benefits

than

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rather than

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negligible drawbacks. It is recommended that

this

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facility is should be expanded for the betterment of the

child

Use synonyms

SalThu Oct 29 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices to make the structure more logical, ensuring ideas are connected smoothly throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Clarify some points more thoroughly to ensure comprehensive understanding.

Language

Work on reviewing and reducing grammatical inaccuracies to improve clarity and precision.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

The topic is addressed fully with a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Relevance is maintained by providing specific examples related to the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

in many countries goverment are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening ? do you think this is a appropriate use of goverment money?

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?