IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

Family is an imperative part
in
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 one's
life
Use synonyms
, without whom
life
Use synonyms
 seems incomplete.
However
Linking Words
, friends
also
Linking Words
 play a vital role in our
life
Use synonyms
. It is generally accepted that a few people believe that family members are more essential than friends. Whereas, some people oppose
this
Linking Words
. I profoundly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 agree that the members of the family are more important compared to friends. Family members stay with us during our downfall and joyful moments.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they support a person during his or her financial crisis.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a few friends do not support us during
our
Change the word
a
show examples
 hard time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, family members always have a special attachment because we
Add a verb
are
were
show examples
grown up together.
Further
Linking Words
, they embolden us to select a good career.
For instance
Linking Words
, they foster us to select a subject which will be helpful for us in future. But a few friends deter us in our career growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as we share a common gene, we do have more attachment with family members compared to friends. Family members help us to show the righteous path.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a few friends engross us into bad habits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the members of
f
Add an article
the
show examples
amily make our celebration more cheerful with their presence. Family members always stay with us even during hospitalised .They feel
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equal pain as we are going through. To conclude, though friends are important in
life
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the members of the family support us mentally, financially and emotionally.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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