IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society, so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #hours #effect #families #society
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In recent times, organisations are engaging
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 employees for longer hours. Whilst some persons are of the school of thought that spending more
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 has negative effects on employees, some persons may disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain why spending longer hours at the office should be discouraged.
Firstly
Linking Words
, working overtime should be highly restricted because of the health implication
on
Verify preposition usage
of
for
show examples
 employees.
For example
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, a recent 2020 study in China shows that people who worked for longer hours were more prone to
c
Add an article
a
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ertain type of diseases including high blood pressure and back pain. The more
time
Use synonyms
 that
staff
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 spent working, the less
time
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 they had to rest.
Thus
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, it is necessary to balance office activities and resting
time
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,
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to reduce your exposure to certain sicknesses.
Secondly
Linking Words
, spending
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 periods at
work
Use synonyms
 reduces your productivity levels.
For instance
Linking Words
, a 2019 Jobberman study revealed that companies that had limited and designated
time
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 for
work
Use synonyms
, had more productive
staff
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 thereby increasing
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 organisational revenue.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to ensure that your
staff
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 have a designated
time
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 to help them
tostay
Correct your spelling
to stay
stay
 more productive at
work
Use synonyms
 and deliver well on their tasks. In summary, increased
workhours
Correct your spelling
work hours
show examples
 have been known to impact an employee's health level and productivity negatively. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 clear that restricting
work
Use synonyms
 times should be highly encouraged as it has a diminishing effect on
staff
Use synonyms
 and companies at large. After
t
Add an article
a
show examples
horough analysis
on
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 subject, it can be seen that
r
Add an article
the
show examples
estriction of employee hours spent at the office will produce better results for organisations and increase their revenue
on
Verify preposition usage
in
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 the long run.
Submitted by wendykil on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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