IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh
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Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, large internet companies and
organisations
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 collected The private
information
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 of many people. I think
this
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sentense
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sentence
 contain advantages and disadvantages, and I will give my opinion below.
To begin
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 with, some people think that personal
information
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 is their own thing. Because personal
information
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 is very private and sensitive
informaition
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information
. so they want to manage
themselve
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themselves
 their personal
information
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.
For example
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, If it
leak
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leaks
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 account
information
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 to
o
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the
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ffender, they could
threat
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threaten
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 to people’s property. So some people think
to
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of
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 disadvantages that the private
information
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 of humans is collected by big online companies and
organisatinos
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organisations
 On
othder
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other
 hand, some people believe that the personal
information
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 of
p
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a
the
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erson is held by large internet companies and
organisations
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. Because of the security. Big companies and
organisations
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 had more
strong
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strength
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 and security
protect
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protection
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s
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the
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ystem from criminals attack. personal protective coverage is clearly limited. It cannot protect
pernal
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personal
infomation
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information
such
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 as the account number, identification card number and everything of personal
information
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. Personally, I think
a
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the
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dvantages that the personal
information
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 of humans is collected by big online companies and
organisations
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. there some are valid explanations for why they had more security protective system, and personal
information
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 is
safety
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safe
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 in their database.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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