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Band 2.5

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh
Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, large internet companies and
organisations
 collected The private
information
 of many people. I think
this
sentense
Correct your spelling
sentence
 contain advantages and disadvantages, and I will give my opinion below.
To begin
 with, some people think that personal
information
 is their own thing. Because personal
information
 is very private and sensitive
informaition
Correct your spelling
information
. so they want to manage
themselve
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themselves
 their personal
information
.
For example
, If it
leak
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leaks
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 account
information
 to
o
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the
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ffender, they could
threat
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threaten
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 to people’s property. So some people think
to
Verify preposition usage
of
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 disadvantages that the private
information
 of humans is collected by big online companies and
organisatinos
Correct your spelling
organisations
 On
othder
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other
 hand, some people believe that the personal
information
 of
p
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a
the
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erson is held by large internet companies and
organisations
. Because of the security. Big companies and
organisations
 had more
strong
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strength
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 and security
protect
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protection
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s
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the
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ystem from criminals attack. personal protective coverage is clearly limited. It cannot protect
pernal
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personal
infomation
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information
such
 as the account number, identification card number and everything of personal
information
. Personally, I think
a
Add an article
the
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dvantages that the personal
information
 of humans is collected by big online companies and
organisations
. there some are valid explanations for why they had more security protective system, and personal
information
 is
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 in their database.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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