Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been widely acknowledged that the number of working
women
increased significantly over the last
century, and they got involved in the different types of works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
This
topic is in
particular importance because Change preposition
of
the
equality between Correct article usage
apply
women
and men
has become one of the most debated issues. This
essay will discuss whether both sexes
suitable for whatever job or not.
On the one hand, the main reason why Add a verb
sexes are
sexes were
women
and men
can occupy the same type of work is related to mental ability and intelligence. There is no relation between individual ability and gender. For example
, the most important part when someone applying
for a job in most companies is the grade and the certificate rather than the gender. Wrong verb form
applies
Moreover
, there are women
who have become a policeman, which is quite dangerous, and they are successful in their careers.
On the other hand
, there are some types of works
which Fix the agreement mistake
work
is
not suitable for all. Jobs that require physical activity, Change the verb form
are
for instance
, are more likely to be filled by men
such
as builder
and army. Fix the agreement mistake
builders
In contrast
, women
are quite emotional and they have which
is called (caring nature), Correct pronoun usage
what
for
this
reason, they are more suitable to be employed in nursing and caring. In these instances, obviously, women
and men
have different natural abilities.
In conclusion, this
essay has looked at whether women
and men
should have the same jobs or not. It would seem that women
and men
are capable of having the same type of careers, and individual ability is far important
than Correct quantifier usage
more important
the
gender identity. Perhaps, with the development Correct article usage
apply
in
the world, females can occupy more sensitive positions.Change preposition
of
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and conciseness. The logical structure of the essay is somewhat coherent, but there is a lack of clear progression between ideas. Make sure to use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the task, but the response lacks clarity and depth. There is a need to express a clear opinion on whether men are naturally more competitive than women and provide more specific examples and evidence to support the ideas presented in the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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