IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage

There is a fact that companies that operate across many countries are driving small-sized enterprises out of the marketplace.
Although
Linking Words
 the trend has been recording several drawbacks, I am supposed that the positive effects outweigh the negative ones
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is the replacement of multinational companies that
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 customers in terms of price.
In other words
Linking Words
, multinational enterprises have competitive advantages in terms of assets, facilities and supply chain in comparisons with small businesses. They can produce massively products thanks to extensive factories and technological innovations and
then
Linking Words
 launch their merchandise at much lower prices than local businesses. Those who make a purchase of the products not only benefit lower cost but
also
Linking Words
 much higher quality.The toothpaste product of Unilever,
for instance
Linking Words
, costs three times as cheaper as most Vietnamese ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the emergence of foreign companies may generate
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 job opportunities for low-qualified
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
, which makes contribution raise the living condition of people. After Samsung corporation set a manufacturing site in Thai Nguyen province, the living standard of the population considerably grows.
However
Linking Words
, In general, the situation has an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 impact on the diversity of domestic products. Indeed, while cross-national companies produce some of their brands, a lot of local brands provide different types of products. When local vendors no longer exist, domestic customers are forced to purchase limited products.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the spread of multinational companies may lead to several environmental-related issues in terms of air pollution. Most of them release dirty sewer and toxic gases into
e
Add an article
the
an
show examples
nvironment which is the main cause of air contamination In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the development of multinational companies in
d
Add an article
the
show examples
omestic market results in air pollution and the loss of variety
in
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 products, the trend is advantageous due to lower cost and the enhancement of dweller lives

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: