Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A good basic education for
children
is one of the keys to the prosperous development of a country.
Although
some people believe that
this
is
also
a good moment to add adult responsibilities and practical skills during
this
stage of growth, I tend to disagree with
this
statement. One of the reasons is that schools have already an immense quantity of
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
for students to apprehend,
such
as academic subjects, sports and social organization. Games and group activities are important enough to teach practical skills in a generic way, allowing them to learn holistically. When groups gather themselves and establish rules and goals, they are already learning the most basic social dynamics
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
life. Another argument is that some of the practical exercises might include dangerous and complex tools. When young, they do not have enough strength to manoeuvre heavy machines,
such
as cars. They can do harm if
children
try to apply the exercises, even more without supervision.
Lastly
, childhood is a precious stage for growing imagination, the ability to explore subjective thinking and being protected in a safe space. It is a dear and unique age in life to explore freely without serious responsibilities and consequences. The grow-up world can limit
this
development in order to achieve objective goals and
children
should not be used as a working force.
To sum up
,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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practical skills might be useful but they can
also
be overwhelming and dangerous for healthy personal development.
Children
have the right to start their learning with safe exploration and security.
Submitted by clara.zamith7 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in your response. While you presented a clear opinion and provided reasons to support it, you did not discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good overall coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your arguments more precisely and effectively. Try to incorporate more specific terminology related to the topic and use a variety of sentence structures.
grammatical range
You have a good command of grammatical structures and demonstrate accurate and varied sentence formation. However, be cautious of minor errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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