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Band 5.5

Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, like the Olympic or the Olympics or the World Cup. Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #competitors #competitions #olympic #olympics #world #cup #offer #children #exercise
It is important to consider how worth it is to a
country
 invests money to prepare young people to be an athlete. Aiming that success it is necessary to invest money on the children to stimulate them to exercise. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
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I will support my views with examples.
Firstly
, it is interesting to think about how amazing it is to a
country
 having athletes. It is reasonable the reflection about the conditions that are sustained to the young competitors to turn them champions. To illustrate, I would remember you how many athletes came from peripheric communities. Those people sometimes are used to live under very bad conditions where food and other basics products are not guaranteed. In another hand, some sports have huge costs with specific material and products. For those people, money support and other facilities made the difference to their success.
Secondly
, it is important to consider that once one wants to prepare an athlete, it is mandatory to invest on him since the very beginning;
this
 attitude may transform the whole possibilities in that person life . Offering conditions to that kid exercises himself hardly it is going to give him physical abilities to turn himself a competitor and at the end, perhaps, a champion. As an example
Add a comma
,
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we could tell one of the most important soccer
player
Change to a plural noun
players
show examples
 who came from a very poor family from northeast of brazil and became a champion bringing lots of satisfaction to his
country
. As a conclusion, there is no other way to a
country
 find out icons on sports,
besides
 the financial support to the ones who have that ability and dream.
Submitted by agenciabrushup on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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