Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

It is an undeniable fact, that parents nowadays entice their children to look for a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job to make their free
time
valuable. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
we will examine the benefits and as well as the drawbacks of young pupils working at an early age.
However
, I believe that pupils should not
work
as it can deviate their mind from studies and goal of life, for which they need to
work
hard. Apparently, there are many benefits of doing
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
such
as teenagers
c
Add a pronoun
who
show examples
omprehend the value of money and are able to practice
time
management.
Moreover
Add a comma
,
show examples
they get a taste of
r
Add an article
the
show examples
eal economic world and
work
culture.
This
idea of utilizing their free
time
, gives them a breath of fresh air from
Correct your spelling
monotonous
m
Add an article
the
show examples
onotonus book learning method, as they are doing it
practicaly
Correct your spelling
practically
.
For instance
, many students start their career from a restaurant,
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
leaving
the
custome's
Correct your spelling
customer's
need and maintaining the goodwill of the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
On the other hand
, while working and with the inflow of money
Add a comma
,
show examples
a child may change his focus from studies to
work
and to earn more cash. They get allured by
s
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ense of splurging money
hence
a
downfalll
Correct your spelling
downfall
in the academic studies can be seen after that.
In addition
to
this
, the innocence of a child and happiness during the playtime will vanish, if, it gets alternated by their tiring jobs. To make the most of their free
time
, parents ought to focus on introducing brain games,
a
Add an article
an
show examples
bacus for maths or any other
skill based
Add a hyphen
skill-based
show examples
training which will improve their cognitive skills. To recapitulate, just like a coin has its two sides, doing
j
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ob or working as an apprentice in free
time
is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
advantageous to give lessons about real economic situations.
However
, I firmly believe that a child should start looking for a job when it is the
corrrect
Correct your spelling
correct
time
. Parents should focus on introducing brain games and other lessons for their ideal
time
to
enhence
Correct your spelling
enhance
their intellectual level.
Submitted by jaagatjotsingh.sohal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: