SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT ENTERTAINERS SUCH AS FILM STARS, POP MUSICIANS OR SPORTS STARS ARE PAID TOO MUCH MONEY. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH OTHER TYPES OF JOB SHOULD BE HIGHLY PAID?

While a group of people think that artists and sportsmen are being paid more than they deserve ,another group think the opposite.Is it logical or not?
This
essay will argue why it is not logical at all and
instead
of celebrities like them,who are the most deserving candidates in the race of earning more money. As we all know,entertainers like actors,singers and
sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
have always given people a scope to run away from the monotony of their day to day life activities which people often desire to relax for some time.
Therefore
,celebrities of these sectors are
relativelay
Correct your spelling
relatively
more popular compared to that of other types.Admittedly,most of the times they are overrated and offered a huge amount for even a brief performance.They are hired at a very substantial amount that the sponsors can earn even more and achieve great publicity.
Moreover
,
this disproportional incomes
Change the determiner
this disproportional income
these disproportional incomes
show examples
of these stars give rise to
f
Add an article
a
show examples
alse sense of overconfidence which ultimately spoil them,there are many
such
instances.So it is not at all logical to overpay a person having no valid
candidancy
Correct your spelling
candidacy
.
On the contrary
,there are fields on which nobody bothers to pay due attention
such
as the field of research study,news reporting,
weather
forecasting body and so on.
Firstly
,the researchers are burning their nights working at laboratories not being noticed but on the wheels of their inventions
Add a comma
,
show examples
this
world is running so smoothly.
Secondly
,the news
reportes
Correct your spelling
reports
reporters
reported
are risking their lives in various hostile circumstances to unleash truth before mass media.
Finally
,the
weather
forecasters are doing
e
Add an article
an
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xcellent job of making people aware of the
weather
of tomorrow morning.But are they being paid rationally for their jobs as opposed to the stars of showbiz and football or cricket players?Not surprisingly,the answer is very disappointing and known well to all of us
that is
,no,they are not given enough money. Though we love showy things more
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are some people who are working day and night but not being much showy and for
this
reason not getting what they deserve,whereas,only because the professions get more media coverage film actors,sports celebrities,singers are being much more highlighted and
thus
providing means of more income which is totally illogical.In my opinion,
instead
of these stars the researchers,news reporters and
weather
forecasters should be paid more.
Submitted by bd_rume on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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