SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT ENTERTAINERS SUCH AS FILM STARS, POP MUSICIANS OR SPORTS STARS ARE PAID TOO MUCH MONEY. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH OTHER TYPES OF JOB SHOULD BE HIGHLY PAID?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

While a group of people think that artists and sportsmen are being paid more than they deserve ,another group think the opposite.Is it logical or not?

This

essay will argue why it is not logical at all and

instead

of celebrities like them,who are the most deserving candidates in the race of earning more money. As we all know,entertainers like actors,singers and

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

have always given people a scope to run away from the monotony of their day to day life activities which people often desire to relax for some time.

Therefore

,celebrities of these sectors are

relativelay

Correct your spelling

relatively

more popular compared to that of other types.Admittedly,most of the times they are overrated and offered a huge amount for even a brief performance.They are hired at a very substantial amount that the sponsors can earn even more and achieve great publicity.

Moreover

this disproportional incomes

Change the determiner

this disproportional income

these disproportional incomes

show examples

of these stars give rise to

Add an article

show examples

alse sense of overconfidence which ultimately spoil them,there are many

such

instances.So it is not at all logical to overpay a person having no valid

candidancy

Correct your spelling

candidacy

On the contrary

,there are fields on which nobody bothers to pay due attention

such

as the field of research study,news reporting,

weather

forecasting body and so on.

Firstly

,the researchers are burning their nights working at laboratories not being noticed but on the wheels of their inventions

Add a comma

show examples

this

world is running so smoothly.

Secondly

,the news

reportes

Correct your spelling

reports

reporters

reported

are risking their lives in various hostile circumstances to unleash truth before mass media.

Finally

,the

weather

forecasters are doing

Add an article

show examples

xcellent job of making people aware of the

weather

of tomorrow morning.But are they being paid rationally for their jobs as opposed to the stars of showbiz and football or cricket players?Not surprisingly,the answer is very disappointing and known well to all of us

that is

,no,they are not given enough money. Though we love showy things more

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

there are some people who are working day and night but not being much showy and for

this

reason not getting what they deserve,whereas,only because the professions get more media coverage film actors,sports celebrities,singers are being much more highlighted and

thus

providing means of more income which is totally illogical.In my opinion,

instead

of these stars the researchers,news reporters and

weather

forecasters should be paid more.

Submitted by bd_rume on Thu Nov 26 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

364 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT ENTERTAINERS SUCH AS FILM STARS, POP MUSICIANS OR SPORTS STARS ARE PAID TOO MUCH MONEY. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH OTHER TYPES OF JOB SHOULD BE HIGHLY PAID?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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You have just moved into a new home and are plannig to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter . introduce yourself . discribe your plans for the party . invite your neibourhour to come

Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Duscuss both views and give your opinion.