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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
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In today's world, children are given the luxury to enjoy their childhood with a huge number of toys provided to them. I personally feel that
such
 actions are detrimental to kids in the long run. In
this
 essay
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,
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I will shed some light on the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 trend. A common belief some people have is that
,
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 young ones who are oversupplied with toys will automatically be engrossed in their playtime.
As a result
, naughty children will be preoccupied with play and not disturb their parents.
However
, if we look from a different angle,
such
 actions suggest that children will always have an upper-hand in the deal demanding new exclusive toys to be given to them.
As a result
, parents will be forced to spend a hefty amount just to fulfil the needs of their offspring.
Thus
, in the long run, catering to
such
 unnecessary wants will leave a hole in the parents' pockets as having too many toys is merely a waste of money. Another disadvantage is that an enormous number of toys adds to a child’s ego. Children, by nature
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,
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are very competitive in all aspects. In Malaysia,
for example
, having a premium doll collection
,
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 is said to display a child's social standards.
This
 leads to a damaging effect when
such
 affluent youngsters mingle in school just to boast about their materialistic belongings.
This
 luxury showcase will definitely offend other young ones and make them feel belittled. In conclusion,
although
 parents may think that buying more toys actually benefits both their children and themselves, but in fact
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,
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toys deplete family budgets and act as a means of promoting negative competition among children.
Submitted by adi.dudeja89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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