IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places in being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

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A growing number of closed-circuit cameras are being used in lots of towns in order to decline the crime rates.
This
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 way of monitoring is believed , by some people ,to be limited because it can violet citizens’ privacy.Even though
such
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 security systems has its own disadvantages,it’s plus points outweigh the potential drawbacks. There are two main reasons why people might disapprove of the use of video cameras.
Firstly
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,
such
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 means of surveillance can violet ordinary people’s privacy.
In other words
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,residents tend to have their daily life and freedom without being monitored by authorities or private security firms or facing any kind of restriction.
Secondly
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,another argument against the
prolification
Correct your spelling
proliferation
 of CCTV cameras is that they are using as an
ulternative
Correct your spelling
alternative
 to police officers.
This
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 replacement can lead the streets not to be a safer place. Despite drawbacks mentioned above,I believe that the use of cameras in public areas is a positive measure .
Such
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 devices are being used as a tool of
survulation
Correct your spelling
circulation
 to deter criminals from
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
unti
Correct your spelling
anti
until
-social behaviours.Since
such
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 means of monitoring are recording everything happening in public places,offenders are less likely to commit aggressive behaviours or any other types of crimes because criminals are aware of
such
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 systems and the potential consequences of
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 crimes in front of them,which are probably prison sentences.
therefore
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 it might lead them not to offend crime.
For instance
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,statistics show that the rate of criminal actions has reduced 50 per cent in places which have camera compare with similar streets which do not have. To conclude,It is undeniable that technology has developed and the high-tech video cameras have been invented which can be considered both as a positive or negative development.Despite the fact that
this
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restrict
Change the verb form
restricts
show examples
 people’s freedom and it might make street unsafe,I believe that it’s advantages overweight disadvantages.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
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