IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -describe the complaints that have been made - say why the reception area is important - say why the reception area could be improved

#complaints #reception #area #visitors #company #manager #-describe
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you in order to discuss our company's meeting zone. Unfortunately, we got a huge part of emails about our reception from the
partners
Change to a genitive case
partner's
partners'
show examples
las
Correct your spelling
last
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 week.
Consequently
, I believe we must take some measures. I had learned all letters which clients wrote and I made some statistics for you about what they are unpleasant.
First
 of all, there is the small space, if we have some
conferencions
Correct your spelling
conferences
conferencing
 with lots of competitors, they can't fully have
relax
Change the verb form
relaxed
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 and enjoy their some free time.
Secondly
, they applied about
bad
Add an article
the bad
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 air-conditioned system, as we live in
warm
Add an article
a warm
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 climate, they want to breeze lightly in our office.
Third
Add an article
The third
A third
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 reason is not enough staff at our information desk, only one lady can't service everyone. After my analysation of
Correct article usage
the situation
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situation
Add a comma
,situation
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 I was searching on the Internet whole 2 days and came with
opinion
Correct article usage
an opinion
show examples
 how the reception in companies is really important. To start with, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 face of
company
Add an article
the company
a company
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,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 association
about
Change preposition
with
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 us,
first
 impression, after which people will give points to us. I would like to
advice
Replace the word
advise
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 some challenges which we could do:
firstly
, do more open-space territory, buying new tables, sofas,
also
 we could think about some coffee-break.
Then
, it is important to renovate our air-conditioned system fully, because we hadn't done it since
2018
Change the article
the 2018
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 year.
Lastly
, we should open
additionally
 2 new positions to have more staff at our reception or recruiting them on
temporary
Add an article
the temporary
a temporary
show examples
 job for big events. I am looking forward to answering from you. Best regards, Maria
Submitted by minion474 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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