IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

1- Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both these points of view and give your Opinion

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society #points
The charts demonstrate the
water
 percentage used in six distinct regions of the world for discrete purposes. In general, all the charts have a similarity that the biggest percentage was allocated to agricultural usage except for North America and Europe. More specifically, the three areas Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia had approximately the identical distribution for three different purposes which are industrial use, agricultural use, and domestic use. Whereas, North America and Europe share the same distribution, as they are the industriliazed countries, most of the usage were in industry.
Furthermore
, Central Asia had not only the most 88 percentage of
water
 used in agriculture, but
also
 the least amount of
water
 used in domesitc (5 percent).
Additionally
, South America had the most usage of
water
 in domestic.
Moreover
, we can divide the six different regions into two categories: the
first
 one being the industrially dominant which was represented by North America and Europe, the scond one was agriculturally dominant represented by all the other fours South America, Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia.
Submitted by sinaheli3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: