IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Work
Use synonyms
 is
nessesory
Correct your spelling
necessary
 and inevitable part of
life
Use synonyms
. Different people have
d
Add an article
a
show examples
ifferent opinion about
Use synonyms
j
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ob which create debate
abong
Correct your spelling
among
 the people. Some people think that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more important for
Use synonyms
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
erson rather than
job
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 while other people thave
diffent
Correct your spelling
different
 opinion about
Use synonyms
j
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ob, they think that permanent
job
Use synonyms
 has more advantage and people can not expect
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 all time. Both views have pros and cons, reasons for that discusses in
b
Add an article
the
show examples
elow paragraphs. On one hand,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more important because
satisfacion
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 is the
felling
Correct your spelling
feeling
show examples
 when people being happy either physically or
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
.
Satisfaction
Use synonyms
 motivates
Use synonyms
p
Add an article
a
the
show examples
erson to do
work
Use synonyms
 hard and
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 success which
also
Linking Words
 helps business earn more profit.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, when
Use synonyms
p
Add an article
a
the
show examples
erson is happy with their
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, it gives positive effects in family
life
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
, it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
g
Add an article
a
show examples
ood balance of personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
. For
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
example, according to one research, people who
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 more
impotantce
Correct your spelling
importance
 for their
work
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 create more profit to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 business. On
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
Change the determiner
other
show examples
 hand,
job
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 is
i
Add an article
an
show examples
mportant
f
Add the particle
to
show examples
actor as well because it is
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for future survival, it
is give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 continues flow of income. When
Use synonyms
p
Add an article
a
show examples
erson has
p
Add an article
a
show examples
ermanent
job
Use synonyms
, do not have to worry about their future, as
perment
Correct your spelling
permanent
job
Use synonyms
 and
stedy
Correct your spelling
steady
 income allows
t
Add a pronoun
them
us
show examples
o feel
relex
Correct your spelling
relax
relaxed
, and enjoy
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
Use synonyms
 with
f
Add an article
the
a
show examples
amily as well. For an instance,
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ermanent
job
Use synonyms
 gives many advantages like pension after retirement, vacation period per year, insurances and many more, These
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 helps people
balcance
Correct your spelling
balance
 their family and
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 as well. In my opinion,
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ermanent
job
Use synonyms
 is more important than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. To sum up,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 and jo
security
Use synonyms
 both are important but permanent
job
Use synonyms
 gives continues flow of income which secure
persent
Correct your spelling
present
per cent
 as well as future, it
also
Linking Words
 helps to balance family and
work
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 is more
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
.
Submitted by romika on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: