A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People around the world

Change the verb form

are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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vastly interested in their

government

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and it's duties. Many believe

Add an article

the

The noun phrase responsibility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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esponsibility of the

government

Use synonyms

is to cover the basic needs of the nation.

Also

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, essential services must be privatised. I am a strong advocate of

this

Linking Words

approach and

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss

Add an article

the

It appears that an article is missing before the word advantages. Consider adding the article.

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dvantages of benefits of nationalisation and privatisation.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the infrastructure can lay the groundwork for the sustainable

developmental

Replace the word

development

The word developmental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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goals of a country. To accomplish

this

Linking Words

goal requires a strenuous effort.

Therefore

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

involvement is important in providing necessary roads, water supplies to the general public.

For example

Linking Words

, building a road in a rural area with poor access and no facilities can be an arduous task for a private company.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, national security should not be in the hands of a private company as it is the utmost priority. For an instance, every country allocates sufficient sum of funds to

defense

Change the spelling

defence

The spelling of defense is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in their annual budget because it is the most needed services.

Secondly

Linking Words

, depending on private companies and personnel to establish

such

Linking Words

important divisions i.e. medical, education etc. can create a monopoly and result in deprivation of these facilities for underprivileged people.

For instance

Linking Words

, the private owner will develop any of the hospitals for commercial purposes and the poor people won’t be able to afford that treatment.

This

Linking Words

example illustrates that

the

Remove the article

apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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private people should not be given the sole responsibility to manage these core sectors.

Thus

Linking Words

, it can be seen that giving individual companies

this

Linking Words

major role could sabotage the lives of underserved people of

the

Remove the article

apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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society. In a nutshell, the resources present with the state and cartel thinking of individuals should be kept in mind by the state authorities for developing or upgrading country. I do believe that the state should be completely responsible for building the basic necessities concerning their

citizen

Replace the word

city

The word citizen doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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life and health. I suppose, going another way round could complicate the problems for sitting

government

Use synonyms

as private individuals could be involved in blackmailing in case their demands are not met.

ruwantha.eddySat Dec 12 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the goverment should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource , while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.