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Writing Samples
Band 4

In the last century, The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, some people think it has made little difference in most people’s daily lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#century #first #man #moon #step #mankind #people #difference #people’s #lives
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Although
Linking Words
 ,
Mankind
Use synonyms
 believed that the early foot on the moon was an achievement to
Mankind
Use synonyms
. I support
this
Linking Words
 statement to a large
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 for some reasons. My position is argued
further
Linking Words
 with the explanation. Out of all the bases, the foremost one was the immense fortune of
Mankind
Use synonyms
 which brings endless opportunities to explore. To elaborate, It brings hope of a new place to colonise and expand. Considering the population of
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the world the area is not enough to accommodate.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
first
Use synonyms
 move towards the neighbour planet gives us
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
an opportunity to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extraterrestrial people if they exist.
Furthermore
Linking Words
By
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extending our boundaries to step forward,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings the
inhabitants
Change noun form
inhabitant's
inhabitants'
show examples
 location to learn and diversify by experimenting and nurturing in a better way.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , I believe in case of doms
day
Capitalize word
Day
show examples
 or nuclear war the
first
Use synonyms
 shelter
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the human species would be
non-other
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than the moon .
This
Linking Words
 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
day-by-day conflicts between
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 world countries are at their peak.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , with the proud claim of the
first
Use synonyms
 step on m soon,it gives the ability to think out of our globe and proves the efficiency to search the other planets and universe.
For instance
Linking Words
 When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
NASA sent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apollo
Capitalize word
Apollo
show examples
 11 for its
first
Use synonyms
 footstep to the moon and they succeeded. By considering it
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 the ability to send
apollo
Capitalize word
Apollo
show examples
 13 to investigate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mars.
However
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
I would not overlook the other side too.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I believe a claim to stride forward humanity did not make any significant difference in
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 lives.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, Keeping in mind the achievement it will take decades to move, and technology is not up to the pace yet.
Also
Linking Words
 , it does not make any difference because many nations are in the developing stage.
Thus
Linking Words
 ,
to conclude
Linking Words
 the discussion, it can be
finally
Linking Words
 said that despite the fact of not making any major
gamechanger
Correct your spelling
game changers
show examples
 in daily life, I believe a step forward is just the beginning, and it will help
Mankind
Use synonyms
 to achieve future endeavours.
Submitted by 3vedidhruvin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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