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Band 8.5

In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#places #leisure #time #activity #adults #development
It is true that nowadays an overwhelming majority of youngsters tend to interact themselves by doing some shopping during spare time. I think that
this
 is a negative trend which can cause some inevitable consequences.
To begin
, the main reason for my disagreement is that a number of young people today overuse their rights by spending an enormous amount of money on fashionable items like clothes or accessories.
Subsequently
, their parents have to compromise with huge expenses of their children.
However
 some parents are strict when it comes to their offsprings, so in
this
 case, the young peoples have rules to follow.
Nevertheless
, if the teenagers are out of control, they can simply spend any amount of money to satisfy their own needs and caprices including shopping.
Furthermore
, a great illustration of
this
 is that the children, who have been spoiled by their parents, tried to manipulate them in order to obtain as much money as possible for the shopping purposes.
Thus
, it is important that parents monitor their young children and don't surround them with excessive love or caress. Another reason is that
although
 the young generation is more likely to habitually shop for interaction. Some of them merely try to superior by wearing stylish clothes and shoes.
Consequently
,
this
 development brings negative elements as other pupils, who may not afford themselves buying luxurious things, feel inferiority among one's friends and relatives. A great number of teenagers, in fact, have a feeble habit to judge by the appearance rather than by personality. It is not surprising that nowadays young people orient to purchase the
last
 trends even with nothing to have in its wallets as well.
Therefore
, youth should focus on living without chasing the cutting-edge things, but more value having a firm relationship with their peers. To conclude,
Although
 shopping is one of the main aspects of youth's life, I believe that they will deliberately find a productive alternative for
this
 activity in the future.
Submitted by Saten on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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