A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Significant income is more important than satisfying about
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
job. I
disagreee
Correct your spelling
disagree
with that because people get new problems
such
as money overspending and psychological pressure. When people start
e
Add the particle
to
show examples
arn their
first
big money, they speed up their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and start
Add the particle
to
show examples
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
more on
unneccesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
presents or things. New cars or yachts will not guarantee them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
happiness,
moreover
Add a comma
,
show examples
people
disapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
that things are not perfect and do not bring them internal fellings or do not
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
them emotionally.
Unfourtunally
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
you can understand that only when you pass that rough path. Most of
p
Add an article
the
show examples
eople that I know saying one common thing, family and pleasure of work are everything that we need. I disagree because huge wage creates significant and
constatnt
Correct your spelling
constant
psychological influence,
as a result
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
people might have started
d
Add the particle
to
show examples
rink more alcohol or even start consuming drugs.
Moreover
Add a comma
,
show examples
they can
ruined
Change the verb form
ruin
show examples
their life, career, or family because of following their temptation and lose their reasoning. Stress creates domino effects and if you are not
s
Add an article
a
the
show examples
trong person or you don't have forces to deal with that you would probably lose more than gain from it. As opposite to that when you are satisfying your job you
launche
Correct your spelling
launch
launched
a chain of chemical reactions in your brain that produce right hormones as
endorphines
Correct your spelling
endorphins
and these things your warriors that preventing you from undesired pressure.
As a result
Add a comma
,
show examples
big money brings big problems with addictions or psychological pain. that will ruin
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
valuable that you have.
Submitted by 6369633 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: