A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Significant income is more important than satisfying about
you
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your
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job. I
disagreee
Correct your spelling
disagree
with that because people get new problems
such
as money overspending and psychological pressure. When people start
e
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to
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arn their
first
big money, they speed up their
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
and start
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to
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spend
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spending
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more on
unneccesary
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unnecessary
presents or things. New cars or yachts will not guarantee them
a
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apply
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happiness,
moreover
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,
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people
disapointed
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disappointed
that things are not perfect and do not bring them internal fellings or do not
fullfill
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fulfil
them emotionally.
Unfourtunally
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Unfortunately
you can understand that only when you pass that rough path. Most of
p
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the
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eople that I know saying one common thing, family and pleasure of work are everything that we need. I disagree because huge wage creates significant and
constatnt
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constant
psychological influence,
as a result
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,
show examples
people might have started
d
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to
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rink more alcohol or even start consuming drugs.
Moreover
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,
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they can
ruined
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ruin
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their life, career, or family because of following their temptation and lose their reasoning. Stress creates domino effects and if you are not
s
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a
the
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trong person or you don't have forces to deal with that you would probably lose more than gain from it. As opposite to that when you are satisfying your job you
launche
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launch
launched
a chain of chemical reactions in your brain that produce right hormones as
endorphines
Correct your spelling
endorphins
and these things your warriors that preventing you from undesired pressure.
As a result
Add a comma
,
show examples
big money brings big problems with addictions or psychological pain. that will ruin
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
valuable that you have.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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