In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places, what are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, with the birth of the internet and modern means of transport, living in different cities or countries is a new trend. In comparison with the past, when

people

Use synonyms

usually

locate

Verb problem

lived

show examples

in a specific area for their life, the new lifestyle brings a lot of merits for human beings. There are two main purposes that promote the new lifestyle of living in many

places

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

one of the most preponderant reasons is that the internet allows us to create jobs and work everywhere. More precisely, the

agriculture dominant

Use the right word

agriculture-dominant

show examples

era has finished, and we do not solely depend on farming anymore.

As a result

Linking Words

, rather than staying on one farm to earn a living,

people

Use synonyms

can migrate to

metropolis

Correct article usage

a metropolis

show examples

or even other countries to reside.

Second,

Linking Words

compared with the 1990s, our means of transportation, like planes, trains or ships, allow us to travel more

frequent

Replace the word

frequently

show examples

, faster,

longer

Correct word choice

and longer

show examples

distances at affordable prices.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many of us will not hesitate to travel around to explore new things. The benefits gained from travelling around and relocating in various locations are not limited to

broaden

Wrong verb form

broadening

show examples

our horizon but

also

Linking Words

make us more tolerant. More precisely, when we have chances to stay in different

places

Use synonyms

, observe and experience new things, expand our knowledge, and understand deeply about ourselves

and

Rephrase

deeply and

show examples

become open-minded.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who have been to many

places

Use synonyms

will understand that LGBT

people

Use synonyms

are everywhere, and it is not a curse if we love a

same-gender

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

person.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the bad rumour coming from a middle-aged woman about how unlucky LGBT

people

Use synonyms

are

becoming

Verb problem

show examples

nonsense. In conclusion, I believe that the internet and new means of transportation contribute to helping

people

Use synonyms

travel around and reside in various

places

Use synonyms

. From the personal-growth perspective, it is irrefutable that

this

Linking Words

new lifestyle

helps

Verb problem

does

show examples

more good than bad because it helps us become non-judgmental and wise.

leepham1809

Dec 24, 2020

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Task response

Make your task stay clear. Say if the trend is good or bad and give one reason.

Coherence and cohesion

Make four parts: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion; each part has one main idea.

Coherence

Use linking words like because, also, but, so to show cause and effect.

Task response

Give more real and clear examples that fit the idea.

Grammar

Fix small grammar: use 'frequently' not 'more frequent'; keep plain form and avoid hard words.

Content

The essay shows a real feel that the internet and travel can change life.

Structure

Intro and ending are there.

Content

The idea of moving to many places is kept.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

move
live
place
home
town
city
country
world
travel
transport
plane
train
car
job
work
study
school
money
cost
reason
cause
change
now
past
good
bad
positive
negative
advantage
benefit
problem
challenge
effect
impact
culture
family
friend
community
freedom
choice
opportunity
education
environment
policy
plan
rule
law
global

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Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?

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It is important to take risks in both personal and professional life. Do you think that risk taking advantages outweighs the disadvantages?

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do advantages of peer pressure outweigh disadvantages?