Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. (To what extent do you agree or disagree.)

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child’s #health

Presently, kids do a

lot

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

that make their

health

worse

such

as watch TV programs to long and play many games. From my point of view, I strongly agree that these activities are made

they

Delete the pronoun

apply

show examples

unhealthy. Several people believe that children who watch movies a

lot

are not make

Change the verb form

are not making

show examples

their

health

bad because some companies invent about electronic items that protect their eyes.

For example

, in the past mobile phone do not have

Add an article

the

show examples

rogram to protect people eyes, when they play or use phones for a long time. In the present, every

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

brand has

Add an article

the

show examples

unction to safe people eyes called Blue Light

Hazand

Correct your spelling

Hazard

, so it is not only useful and helpful

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

safe people who want to watch or play something for a long time.

On the other hand

, more and more people argue that do electronic activities are made their

health

worse because there are a

lot

of effects. Instance, when some children watch TV, play games and etc. They are not a concentration and they will be a hyper. People who be

Change the article

apply

show examples

hyper, when they work or study, they can not do a long time.

Thus

, if parents limit their youth about watch movies and etc, youth will not have

health

problems and it can

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

young guys spend a

lot

of times with their parents more than stay on computer or television. To sum up, young people around the world prefer to spend many times to watch films,play video games and etc.

Although

other people including me believe that these routines are bad for individual child's

health

Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on Wed Dec 30 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. (To what extent do you agree or disagree.)

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For some people learning in a group is the most effective way, while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both views. What is your opinion?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing execercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn cnews. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?