Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. (To what extent do you agree or disagree.)

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child’s #health

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Presently, kids do a

lot

Use synonyms

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

that make their

health

Use synonyms

worse

such

Linking Words

as watch TV programs to long and play many games. From my point of view, I strongly agree that these activities are made

they

Delete the pronoun

apply

show examples

unhealthy. Several people believe that children who watch movies a

lot

Use synonyms

are not make

Change the verb form

are not making

show examples

their

health

Use synonyms

bad because some companies invent about electronic items that protect their eyes.

For example

Linking Words

, in the past mobile phone do not have

Add an article

the

show examples

rogram to protect people eyes, when they play or use phones for a long time. In the present, every

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

brand has

Add an article

the

show examples

unction to safe people eyes called Blue Light

Hazand

Correct your spelling

Hazard

, so it is not only useful and helpful

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

safe people who want to watch or play something for a long time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, more and more people argue that do electronic activities are made their

health

Use synonyms

worse because there are a

lot

Use synonyms

of effects. Instance, when some children watch TV, play games and etc. They are not a concentration and they will be a hyper. People who be

Change the article

apply

show examples

hyper, when they work or study, they can not do a long time.

Thus

Linking Words

, if parents limit their youth about watch movies and etc, youth will not have

health

Use synonyms

problems and it can

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

young guys spend a

lot

Use synonyms

of times with their parents more than stay on computer or television. To sum up, young people around the world prefer to spend many times to watch films,play video games and etc.

Although

Linking Words

other people including me believe that these routines are bad for individual child's

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on Wed Dec 30 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
There are more and more older people who are looking for work and have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?
Today, more older people who looking for work need to compete with the younger community .This problem could lead to increased numbers of unemployment. Also , physical limitations that older people and young people not have the same energy. And lack knowledge of technology skills .The solution of this issue, that governments and organisations can divide the workplace for these two generations, or some companies can create mentorship programs , to teach them new skills.
5.5
band
Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know that it is bad for them. Why is this the cause? What measures can effectively improve people’s unhealthy eating habits?
These days, a lot of people tend to eat unhealthy food even though they know that it is not good for them. There are several reasons for this.
5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some people tell children that they can do everything if they try hard enough. In this message, there are both advantages and disadvantages.
6
band
me countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?
A vast majority of people argue that governments should pay for their Internet connection due to the shortage of money, meanwhile, others believe that the ministry is not responsible for that. The government should provide people with the access , as it is pricey and not everyone can purchase it ,while the population uses Wifi most of the time incorrectly by scrolling through TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
<4
band
More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Germany is a developed country with one of the best environmental conditions in the world and one of the best manufacturers in the world. In this case, I really want to find an organization that can accommodate me to learn about understanding what the environment is like, how to love the environment, how to change people's mindset that the environment is very important for the current circular economy. All of these things are then developed with my skills in the field of GIS so that what I get in this program can be integrated between my knowledge and skills. I feel now is the right time to start all this with the help of this program.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. (To what extent do you agree or disagree.)

Fully explain your ideas

There are more and more older people who are looking for work and have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know that it is bad for them. Why is this the cause? What measures can effectively improve people’s unhealthy eating habits?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

me countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?