IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
Modernization has led people to buy unnecessary and costly products. In most of these cases,people fall into debt.
Thus
, changes in the banking system can bring a solution to
this
 issue.
This
 reasoning will be
further
 detailed in
this
 essay.
Initially
, people preferred to live a simple lifestyle but recent changes are forcing people to get adapted to the trend. In order to provide a standard living, they make decisions that are not affordable.
For example
, in
this
 generation,people are judged based on their appearance.
As a result
 to make a good impression both women and men buy luxury products like ornaments and clothing that are expensive.
Secondly
, advertisements play a major role in
this
 problem. Most of the company promotes its products through media. When people see these products, they tend to buy the items out of curiosity without understanding its actual purpose.
For instance
, certain things like wall stickers or painting are brought by middle-aged women for decorating houses which are not compulsory need.
Thus
, resulting in wasting money on products which ultimately affects the expenditure to buy useful products. Since
this
 becomes a major issue in recent days, the banking sector provides plans to save money by setting a limit to cardholders. For exemplify, a person is given a card with a limited transaction for a month. When exceded an alert of the expenditure made is intimidated to the users.
Additionally
, people must
also
 improve their self-control and understand their financial status. These are some of the ways to prevent overuse of money and being debted. In conclusion, people must understand that buying luxurious products are not the solution to modernization
instead
 only leads to increased debts.
Submitted by pavithirasrisubramani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: