IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
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Modernization has led people to buy
unnessory
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 and costly products. In most of these cases
Add a comma
,
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people fall into debt.
Thus
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, changes in the banking system can bring a solution to
this
Linking Words
 issue.
This
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 reasoning will be
further
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 detailed in
this
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 essay.
Initially
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, people preferred to live a simple lifestyle but recent changes
is
Change the verb form
are
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 forcing people to get adapted to the trend. In order to provide a standard living, they make decisions that are not affordable.
For example
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, in
this
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 generation
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,
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people are judged based on their appearance.
As a result
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 to make a good impression both women and men buy luxury products like ornaments and clothing that are expensive.
Secondly
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, advertisements play a major role in
this
Linking Words
 problem. Most of the company promotes
their
Change the pronoun
its
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 products through media. When people see these products, they tend to buy the items out of curiosity.
For instance
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, certain things like wall stickers or painting are brought by
middle aged
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middle-aged
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 women for decorating houses which is not compulsory need.
Thus
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,
result
Change the form of the verb
resulting
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 in wasting
money
Use synonyms
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 products which ultimately affects the expenditure to buy useful products. Since
,
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apply
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this
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 a major issue in recent days,
b
Add an article
the
show examples
anking sector provides plans to save
money
Use synonyms
 by setting a limit to
card holders
Correct your spelling
cardholders
show examples
. For
exemplified
Change the form of the verb
exemplify
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, a person is given a card with
l
Add an article
a
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imited transaction for a month. When exceded an alert of the expenditure made is intimidated to the users.
Additionally
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, people must
also
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 improve their self-control and understand their financial status. These are some of the ways to prevent overuse of
money
Use synonyms
 and being debted. In conclusion, people must understand that buying luxurious products are not the solution to modernization
instead
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 only leads to increased debts.
Instead
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Add a comma
,
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they should work with banks that help them save
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by pavithirasrisubramani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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