Nowadays, we are in the fourth industrial revolution in which people usually use
Remove the article
It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.
show examples
the modern forms of communication. While
this
might harm people’s physical health to a number of
Change to a plural noun
The singular countable noun extent follows the quantifier number, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.
show examples
extent, I still believe that the advantages do outweigh the disadvantages.
The main drawback of electronic tools is that people become less physically active due to excessive time spent
Verify preposition usage
It appears that the preposition for may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.
show examples
for such
inventions
. In the workplace, employees are expected to sit down and work almost without breaks in front of the computer’s screen over a long period of time.
This
repeated action on a daily basis can progressively lead to impaired physical mobility or
Add an article
The noun phrase dangerously increased chance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.
show examples
dangerously increased chance of fatal diseases
such
as diabetes or stroke.
This
can
also
be
Change the article
The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word adverse.
show examples
a adverse impact
Verify preposition usage
It appears that the preposition for may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.
show examples
for the whole community in the long term, as we will possibly see an increasing number of patients in hospitals suffering from these poor health conditions.
Despite the negatives mentioned above, it is my belief that these
inventions
are bringing us more merits than demerits.
Firstly
, they allow an individual to communicate and keep in touch with his family, relatives and friends,
thus
reinforce the relationship among them.
Secondly
, people can be informed about what is happening around the globe, especially those living in remote areas like islands or deserts, simply by turning on a television.
For instance
, if a man chose to live in
Remove the article
The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun countryside in your sentence. Consider removing it.
show examples
an absolutely isolated countryside, his life would be in huge trouble and tedious as a consequence of the absence of
such
electronic devices.
Furthermore
,
inventions
like the computer offer a great opportunity for numerous young students to complete lots of online University courses with no need of attending face-to-face classes.
In conclusion,
although
I recognize a number of potential dangers of electronically operated devices, it appears that these
inventions
are more beneficial to
Add an article
The noun phrase human being seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.
show examples
human being in terms of communication and
Add a hyphen
It appears that long distance is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).
show examples
long distance study.