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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

#people #place #life #move #places #lifetime
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In modern life
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,
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people
 have enough opportunities for choosing places for living. They can stay in their
motherland
 or move to a new place for
bulding
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building
 their life. In
this
 essay
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,
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I want to describe some advantages and
disadvanges
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disadvantages
this
 topic.
Firstly
, I want to tell you about
people
 who decide to stay in their
motherland
.
Good
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The good
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 side of
this
choose
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choice
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 might be
g
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a
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ood relationship with neighbours and
knoweledge
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knowledge
 about local facilities. That can be useful for
convinient
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convenient
 upbringing future children in warm
atmoshpere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 and supporting close-knit relationship with
people
 who live around from childhood.
On the other hand
,
this
 choos can deprive of opportunity to find
interestiong
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interesting
 or
well paid
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well-paid
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 job. In a small town might be some number of jobs and most of
this
 vacancies can be filled. As
s
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a
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tatistic of work migration agency said, that more
then
 40%
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 leave their tow for finding better work.
Secondly
, I want to describe what
people
 get when they leave their
mother land
Correct your spelling
motherland
show examples
.
The one
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One
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 of
a
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the
show examples
dvantages of
this
choose
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choice
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 might be a huge assortment of
vacancieas
Correct your spelling
vacancies
 that you can find and high level of salary that you can earn. You can
develope
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develop
you
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your
show examples
 skills and gain
experince
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experience
 in some international or famous companies.
However
,
this
 way has disadvantages too.That can be difficulties with assimilation in a new place. New culture, some unusual local
habbits
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habits
 might
made
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make
be made
show examples
people
dipressed
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depressed
 and reduce
possobility
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possibility
 to
understad
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understand
this
 traditions.
Good
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A good
show examples
 example of
this
 fact might be
s
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a
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tatistic, 35% of
imigrants
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immigrants
 decide to
came
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come
show examples
 back to
m
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the
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otherland after
f
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the
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irst year of living in a new country because have difficulties with assimilation. In
conclution
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conclusion
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,
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I want to say, that all
this
Change the determiner
these
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 ways have advantages and disadvantages.
People
 have
o
Add an article
the
show examples
pportunity to decide where they want to build their life and what benefits they can get or
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 if they stay or leave their hometown or
motherland
.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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