IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some people say that history is one of the most important school subjects. other people say that, in todays world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. give your own opinion regarding this issue.

#people #history #school #subjects #todays #world #science #technology
According to a number of people past is a vital subject, while others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that science and automation are essential. I opine that later is superior to the
first
one
.
However
,
this
 essay would discuss both views and justify why the
next
one
 has more importance. past is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
accountable which makes aware relating to what we were and how we have reached here. On
one
 hand
one
 should know what are his roots, so that he can decide where
one
 can reach and how, on other hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is baseless to see backwards, as
one
 has to move ahead and past can not be modified while future can be flourished.
Moreover
, history is the exposed which students find boring and due to which they
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 confidence and
consequently
 loss marks in another subject in which they have interest even. Science and technology are the subjects of time, these are the exposed which can help a student to earn not only bread or butter but better future
also
, even though student finds those secondary difficult they try to work hard so that they can make their future bright.
For instance
, A student who is not interested in technology, but when he looks towards sunder Pichai
then
 he would
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 work hard to be successful like him. they may find real-life hero surrounding them. To conclude, Science and Technology subjects have greater importance than history as current ara is rapid and updated.
However
,
one
 should not forget its origin, because after all, we are human beings.
Submitted by ANIL on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • moral values
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • healthcare
  • problem-solving
  • practical skills
  • job market
What to do next:
Look at other essays: