IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skills
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Some individuals have the meaning that in all educational structures, from elementary schools to colleges and universities, there are too many academic hours
are
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apply
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lost on remembering
facts
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 and a little time on gaining practice skills. I
am partially agree
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partially agree
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 with
above
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the above
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 statement and I will justify my point of view in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, many academic disciplines are based on the pillars of the
facts
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the details are fundamental to
the
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apply
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subjects like: history, biology and others.
Students
Use synonyms
 could not start to study them without knowledge of
certain
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a certain
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 amount of the clues which will provide fully organized knowledge of the topic.
Furthermore
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, remembering a number of
facts
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 is
a
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apply
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good training
of
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for
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 remembering skills and
provided
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provides
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 for
proper
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the proper
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 development of
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students
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students'
student's
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 brains.
On the other hand
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, forcing young people to
remembering
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remember
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the
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apply
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unnecessary information can beat off their passion for learning.
Also
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, there are several new approaches for undergraduates to provide diversified growth of
student’s
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students’
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personality
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personalities
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 and allow them to learn in practice, which helps to nurture psychologically and physically strong people in the future.
For example
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, studies like physics and chemistry
awards
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award
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 practical approach
in
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to
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 studying.
Also
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, there are several groups of
students
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 who may not be able to remember a stream of information
,
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apply
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 but could be talented in practical disciplines and
this
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 reveals the fact that old educational strategies are desperately old. In sum, I want
to conclude
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 that learning
facts
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 can be crucial to some studies, but
in
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at
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 the same
moment
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moment,
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 it is important to allow some
students
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 to choose their own way of gaining knowledge and skills. In the future, I hope that
educational
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the educational
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 system will evolve to help
students
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 fully develop and find
theirselves
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themselves
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.
Submitted by backin.v on

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task response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt. While you partially agree, your arguments are not clearly articulated. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide well-reasoned arguments to support your view throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
There are issues with the logical flow of ideas in your essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more coherently. Additionally, make sure to present a clear introduction and conclusion that provide a concise overview of your position.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
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